I have been from a very strict family. Being from a country
like India, where getting a decent job is so tough, my parents always wanted me
to study only, rather than moving around and chilling with friends. In my
childhood days, I used to love my parents a lot, but more scared of getting
punished every now and then. I always had a dream of growing up and doing
whatever I want to. I used to watch serials like “Full House”, “Hannah Montana”,
“That’s so Raven” and so on and used to think that the life in abroad is so
great and kids over there get a so wonderful life. My dad used to stay in
Switzerland, and whenever I used to go there for a vacation, I never wanted
that vacation to end. No study and long days in summer, what fun!!!
When I grew up, I started to understand my parents. They
never wanted to screw up my childhood, but just want to get me a secured life. From
a fun filled kiddy dream, I started seeing abroad as a wonderful place for
higher studies, new places to visit and of course my dream of flying..doing my
mind. But things were changing; my parents were becoming my close friends,
perhaps my best friends. They started taking my opinions in every single
household matters, wanted me to take decisions. I was growing up.
When finally the day came, I got my masters degree, PhD
admission over here, my visa, my tickets and I was all set to FLY, I suddenly
realized all I had till all these days was not just a home, but a place to go,
a place to be in all my moods. I was about to leave my best friends, my
childhood, my favorite places and everything. 2011-25th August.. I
reached US. I skype everyday and talk to my parents about an hour. Now they don’t
ask about my studies or grades anymore. But they share my research interests.
My mom asks if I have cooked my food and eating properly, if I am in my good
health.
A huge transition happened in my life. I realize my parents
depend on me. They have always depended on me for their happiness..through MINE. And now when they are
growing old, with all my freedom, I have a responsibility towards them. I have
always proudly said, I am my father’s princess. Now it’s time to return them
the love. I have to take care of them, fulfill all their dreams that they had
for me; for they had given their freedom long time back, just to give me a
wonderful childhood.
Yes, Anukana we have to rerun the huge love and care to our parents. But, I don't know how, nothing could be enough. Our successes will make them happy, but it is not enough.
ReplyDeleteMy mother told me "you will know how huge is my love until you becomes a mother". It is true, it is beyond our imagination and nothing can explain it. I can tell you that I miss my son during his nap!
Thank you for this post, Anakuna. I can see some parallels with my own life. My parents wanted me to do well and to focus on my studies as a kid, and tried to limit distractions for me and my siblings. For example, we had a very small television, which was shut in the closet on weekdays. By high school, they loosened up quite a bit and I found my own drive to study and learn.
ReplyDeleteIn America, I think that responsibility towards parents is not nearly as strong a cultural value as in other countries such as India and China. Overall I believe that responsibility towards parents is an important value, and we should bring try to bring our parents happiness and care for them as they get older. However (maybe this is my American viewpoint) I also believe that is not the best driving force for a happy life. Doing science as a career is really hard, with inevitable rough spots like failed experiments, denied grants, long hours, etc. If you are doing science to make someone else happy, these rough spots will seem even worse, since it it will feel like you are failing them (at least this was my personal experience). I believe a more durable motivation is to do it for yourself and the love of discovery. Cultivate your scientific curiosity, and take satisfaction from even failed experiments as learning what not do. Just my outlook!
Mike
Mike, I agree with you completely but then again I believe family is most important. My father did pretty good job in science even after taking his child's, wife's and also his parents' responsibility. I guess it is just our point of view, whether we want to spend our Friday nights with friends or with family.
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