Christian, to be or not to be?

I have to clarify first that even though I’m a Christian, I’m not trying to persuade anybody here to become a Christian. Just there are some things that caught my attention recently and brought up the paradoxes that I had for long time, which I’m still not quite sure about the answer to them.

As foreign students come into this brand new environment, we definitely need a lot of help either from the school, the student association, or any seniors from our own country who are already familiar with the area. If one cannot get help from either of that mentioned above, church is always a good place to look for help. One of my Chinese friends here told me that she received a lot of favors from the people in church. She is not a Christian but the reason why she keeps going to worship is because she likes the people there and she actually feels kind of sorry if she stops going since she has received their help. This is the first thing that made me wonder if this is the right thing to do for Christians trying to “priest” outsiders to become one of them. I would say, to help people and to love people without asking for any favor in return is kind of the “central dogma” for Christianity, and I do find out that most of the Christians simply want to help and care about you with no reason. 

My friend is now in a dilemma that she doesn't know if she should become a Christian or not because she actually is not touched by God. Though different countries, China and Taiwan have lots of cultural aspects in common. The major religion for us is definitely not Christianity and worshipping our ancestors is the annual big event for family. But sadly, it is not allowed for Christians. I know bunch of Christians in Taiwan fighting against their non-Christian family members over this topic, but as the way I see, I feel individuals have their own timing to get to know God and to decide whether God is the one they want to follow for the rest of their life. I am still in the paradox that I don't know if I should stop worshipping my ancestors. I love them and if this is the only way they recognized and could feel our love for them, I don't know why I should stop.

Another thing that has been bothering me is the homosexual issue. I have a lot of gay friends back in Taiwan, who are just like sisters to me and I really love them. They work hard, play hard and make the best out of their lives just like everyone does, and they do no harm to people. Indeed, most of them have softer heart than us and are extremely considerate to others. However, the Christianity groups in Taiwan are trying to tell people that these homosexual have bad influence on our children and that they should be removed from the society. This makes me really sad because I love both my religion and my gay friends. I understand what Christians think and why they try to change homosexual back into straight people, but I also understand that somehow there is no way for them to be changed back into “normal” because they are born like that. I feel sad when I see people I love fighting against each other, and I feel painful when I found out that I couldn't simply support my religion based on what it taught me.

I believe even for one who has already devoted his life into Christianity for years would sometimes feel lost in this religion. These paradoxes in my mind have not yet found their way out. But I also believe that no matter which religion it is, it makes its followers confused sometimes. However, as long as the religion teaches people to behave well, supports people in chaos when people lose their faith and make this world a better one, we should still have faith in our religions.