As a new foreign student, I'd like to share my experience of living abroad with others.It's not the very first time for me to stay on my own somewhere that is not home.Therefore, I wanted to welcome new fellows and give them a feel of what to expect in first few weeks or maybe months.I do apologize before I start, but I am not going to paint a "nice" picture!Many of us are here for the first time and on their own-no Mom, Dad, Siblings or spouse-..how are you feeling so far?
Whether you are on a temporary business trip or a long trip outside your homeland, home sickness will hit you.I'd like to exclude places like Bora Bora and Caribbean Islands from the list of places where you might feel homesick :-) But yes, if you are in the gardens of Eden by yourself, it'd be hard at the beginning.
Surely, it'll take time to adjust;moving from one cultural background to another is not that easy.Every culture has it's own tradition and customs, which may seem to awkward to an outsider. Also, sooner or later, you are going to miss your friends, family, gym buddies, the doorman-well, maybe not the doorman lol- and everyone who was somehow engaged in your daily life.It depends on how people prioritize things. To me, family always comes first!How could I ever claim that I joined the UC in order to find a cure to a disease and save the world when I can't look after my own family?!
So yes, you'll feel lonely, a stranger sometimes, insecure, and sometimes "hurt". Feeling lonely will hit you the minute you go home, turn the keys and realize nobody is in there -and you are certainly not expecting anyone for dinner!-.You will feel lonely when you long for one of those long phone calls with your best friend, but right now you can't reach them, since you moved to a new time zone and now you became 6-10 hours ahead/behind.You'll feel shy or insecure, when you slip a few "outlandish words" or maybe because of your accent or how you dress differently.Sometimes you be more like a decapitated chick: you wake up, cook your meals, do the house chores, go to work, etc etc etc..
Well, is it all negativity here?!NO.Think about it as a temporary period, simply another phase of life.Try to explore the feeling of being independent and make the best out of it.Eventually, you'll learn how to help YOURSELF out before turning to somebody.
Take your time to contemplate, count your blessings and get closer to God.Life is growing insanely busier busier every single day; that we forget all about spiritualities, and by the end of the day we end up both, physically and spiritually exhausted.Stay in touch with your friends and close ones.One important thing is that, this is a great test to know who is true and who is fake.True colors always shows sooner or later.When we are in need, insecure and lonely, this is when TRUE friends should step in.Once again, this is a chance to discover who is your true pales and who is camouflaging
One final advice is, try to get busy as much as you can.Don't fill all the gaps you have in your life with work.Allow yourself at least an hour a day to practise something .you like that might as well take your mind off things( reading, music, sports etc etc).And remember, always smile and bear in mind , that you are where you are for a reason, to change something, to add up or to build.Embrace the experience and who knows, maybe you won't be much happier if you go back to your homeland and were surrounded by loved ones.There is no place like home, but you can build a home anywhere,no? :-)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I completely agree with you to the extent that I must say I had something similar to post here in my mind before I read yours. Feeling a little out of place, lonely or homesick but again I am grateful that I got an opportunity to be here, to do some good to mankind. Hopefully one day I will call this place as my "second home".
ReplyDeleteCan't agree with this any more. Some day, We will say: Cincin is our second home where we experienced amounts of ups and downs, embarrassment and surprise, sadness and happiness.
DeleteYea Anukana.I am not an anthropologist or a psychiatric, but I believe that any feeling is somehow a state of mind.YOU create this state of mind.Change is hard; we, humans, always lean towards settling down.Anything that departs from what is familiar, might be irritating at first.I absolutely agree with you, when you said that we are here for a purpose..this chance has been given to us to come together and change something.Let's embrace it!
ReplyDeleteand sorry for stealing your thoughts! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh Salawa! I know what you’ve been through. It might’ve been harder for you because I’ve had a friend here who was very helpful. But as you said, you will adjust, it might take time but finally you will. And believe me; you’ll be grateful for this chance and experience. It will change you; personally, philosophically and professionally. Your mind will be receiving new and different inputs which will enrich your knowledge and thoughts. Subsequently, you’ll start to think, and talk differently, just like how scientists do :). I haven’t changed yet, but my friends keep telling me that I use new phrases and words while we talk over the phone. So, I expect that I’ll be thinking and talking like scientists someday, hopefully. Anyway, both the academic and social lives are key players in this transformation. When you go back home, you’ll hear people saying “there is something different about her, she is not Salawa that we know”. But set assured, it’s the positive kind of change; so you won’t struggle with your loved ones.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, don’t be self-conscious about the way you speak or dress. People here are very open and understanding. They know and expect that international students have difficulties in both verbal and nonverbal communication. They also understand that those students are coming from diverse cultural backgrounds. Therefore, they understand when an international student exhibit different attitudes or behaviors.
Finally, I would like to recommend you a book that may help you in your life here. It’s a required book for my Communication Skills for Int’l TA’s course. It seems that not all of the Americans agree with all of what the authors present in the book, but you’ll find it helpful somehow. Its title is “American Ways: A Cultural Guide to the United States”, 3rd ed.
Before I forget, check this out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSJoZiB-UGY&ob=av3n
Thanks Mohammed!I'll try to check the book out.However, I'd like to point out that my problem here is not communication nor it is cultural conflicts.It's just that I am the kind of person who doesn't like to be alone; and I do get home sick quickly.My dad is a sea captain.He lived in the US for a while and he traveled the world "several times"-I do envy him sometimes-lol.He is a real global thinker, which I guess is the outcome of the travels and living abroad.How he handles problems and even daily life trivial issues is always wise and in a way different.This kind of personality youcan't build except via experience and seeing new horizons.I hope one day I can be anything like him!
ReplyDeleteFinally, "to percieve is to suffer"..I can't remember who said it, one of the philosophers I guess!I agree with this phrase; to me it's the original version of nowadays "no pain, no gain"...it'll take awhile Mohammed...But Thanks again.Your words were right on time :-)
Hi guys, I am trying to understand " to perceive is to suffer" . But I am not sure I got the correct one. So if there is someone giving me some examples or explanations, I appreciate.
DeleteThanks.
It should mean something like nothing comes easily. This is my first time to hear it, actually, but the nowadays-version "no pain, no gain" is very commonly used.
DeleteI hope that helped.
Yes, Yuan and Mohammed.It means you have to work hard to reach your target.
Delete"To perceive is to suffer" is actually a saying by aristotle in an attempt to define "Happiness".I think what he was trying to say that our every-day struggles would lead to happiness;hence, to achieve happiness, one'd suffer for awhile, get my drift?
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYeah, got it. You know what, I thought to perceive means to discern or to realize. So follow this way, that means: to realize is to suffer. Its implication sound like that when you feel blue,it's better to do something else rather than being sensitive to realize your frustrated emotion since to realize is to suffer. hahaha. Totally wrong. Lucky for me to ask this question.
DeleteMy gosh, that's one nice song!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Salwa; I deleted my post without noticing that you've already replied to it. I just added one sentence to it.
ReplyDeleteSo, it seems that there is some kind of agreement that travelling and having new and different experiences enriches knowledge and thinking. This goes with an argument between two old wise men that my grandfather told me once. One of them said “the longer you live the more you learn”. The other man said “no, the more you travel the more you learn”.
By the way, I have difficulties with verbal communication when it comes to everyday life. My speaking skills are not that good and my listening skills is the worst. But thankfully, I don’t have difficulties within academic contexts; people speak more clearly in classrooms and presentations and it seems that they understand me much better.
And yes; this song is very nice, I like it.
You guys are both referring to a song, but I think it must have been mentioned in one of the deleted comments - what's the song?
ReplyDeleteThe new comment is just the same as the deleted one but with one more sentence added. The song's URL in the comment is not working, so it's best to copy and paste it in the browser's address bar. The song is "Home" and here is the URL:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSJoZiB-UGY&ob=av3n.
Sorry for the glitch.
Thanks very much - I really liked it! (By the way, it was funny for me, because the only other song I know by the singer, Dierks Bentley, is a completely comical, irreverent song called "What Was I Thinkin'?" There's a version on YouTube, but it's hard to hear - I'll see if I can find a better version for you. But it's from a completely different emotional range than Home!)
ReplyDeleteDon’t worry Salwa, you will be fine after a while. In another word, you will be too busy to think about it. And if Mohammed’s conditions were better than yours, mine was not. You can imagine who was my feelings by moving to a new country, new city, new culture…etc. etc. with a little boy!! It was hard even for him. He was crying every morning and refusing to go to the daycare because “upon to him”, his blue and green friends are talking in reverse (as he was not speaking English and can’t pronounce the foreign names, so the names changed every day as there clothes color changed ☹) At that time, I forgot about my self and think about him; despite my great experience of who to be” Lost in Cincinnati” referring to the million times that I’ve got lost because of using the Metro services which are…! Surprisingly, when I went back to home, I felt that I miss Cincinnati!!! And when I remember my funny adventures, I just laugh. It had been a part of my unforgettable memories. What I want to say is, live the experience, you will learn a lot and you will feel that it is your second home soon honey.
ReplyDeleteLOOL Thank God I don't have to memorize people by their shirts' colors!Thanks Norah for the reassurment;you are such a great friend and I am lucky to have met you! :-)
ReplyDeleteand you know what, when I went back home after my visit to Cincinnati last summer, I missed Cincinnati big time!Everything from UC to the great Yoga place on Ludlow ave.!
ReplyDeleteYou welcome.
ReplyDeleteI watched his song "What Was I Thinkin'?", it's really completely different.
Most of the singers that I listen to, Arabic or English, are adopting more than one genre. A few years ago, when a new album is released it was easy to expect its genre based on the singer; but now it's hard. Most albums have become mixed, at least the Arabic ones. Maybe it's a strategy to reach all possible tastes in one single album which might increase the revenues. Anyway, as long as we can choose what we listen to then we're good.
Salwa, I agree with Norah that you will enjoy your life in Cincinnati after a while. My first two month in U.S was the toughest, it was the beginning of winter season and snow was covering streets with no social life, I was alone sad and stuck with my old memories of my family and friends. But after a while things become better and I started to look around and meet new people and make new friends, whom I enjoy my spare time with. What I want to say is, be optimistic and look for the best soon you will be glad for this experience.
ReplyDeleteSalwa!! Yet another excellent job of exploring all aspects of a certain concept before blogging it down! A lot has already been said by everybody else and I just want to chip in that you have portrayed the different emotions and confusions that people from other nations go through very well! Home is what you make of it, its meaning varies to a great extent from person to person. So there is no denying that it can be built anywhere! :)
ReplyDelete